all should be well but...
I have having tremendous struggles with work.
You would think that with the latest good news, I would be able to move forward with a big smile on my face and deal with anything thrown my way.
Instead, I am having panic attacks daily on my way to work. I am shaking, nauseous, finding it hard to catch my breath - all tied to the unbearable culture of failure and blame here. Despite the fact that there is going to be a change in July, I can barely make it through the day here now.
In every job I have ever undertaken, I have over-achieved. I have raised the bar and succeeded far beyond expectations. Here I fail day after day. The anxiety is making me unable to focus. I know I am ineffective and were I my own boss, I would fire myself.
Doctor's appointment tonight. I may be able to go on a stress leave. Just need some time to ground and recharge myself....
Is this huge falure?
posted by cathie @ 7:15 AM
2 Comments:
Cathie, I know the feeling.
Take the time you need. It's not failure--but not only that: it's not right to cast every moment in our lives in terms of success or failure. It's just life. You push through the hard stuff again and again, and one day you find you don't have any push left--and it might not even be about the mountain you're straining against; could just be this is the point that you got tired. Tending to yourself isn't failure.
Feel better. I HOPE you get a break. Keep us posted. Thinking about you.
Inger
I hear ya Cathie and I understand completely..Inger's comment is very thought provoking for myself as well so I thank her for that.
Take care and hoping your work situation/stress will ease.
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