self

I have read back some of what I have been posting of late. (I will not call it writing - a writer I am not...)

I read other's blogs - impressed by how well they express insights, moments, musings and return to my own inane blathering - slightly embarrassed.

Sounds like a bit of a cartoon life. Light, uninteresting, narrow.... I hope I'm not the blithering idiot I appear to be.

Yesterday made me think. Attended a management meeting out of town. 20 people in all. Looked around at the sea of white faces. One man of colour. He joked, waitiing for a cab, that he did not have a bomb in his briefcase. Surprised, I wondered how recent world events were affecting him, but did not get into a personal discussion. He is a good man. His life must be significantly different due to his heritage. Sad.

After 9/11, I worried about my neighbours. The family next door are Persian. They are wonderful people - helpful, kind, hard working. They have 2 teenage sons who teach my kids fancy soccer moves, look after the pets when we are on vacation, and help me keep the skating rink cleared of snow in the winter.

Still, on the subway, I look around. Brown men with knapsacks cause me to pause. I am wary - not necessarily afraid - just cautious. Instinctive, reactive - not happy with myself. Stay open, don't judge.

It's a hard balance.