crack
Thought I'd lose it at work. Much effort spent to contain this 'out of control' feeling at home. Lost it yesterday. Thought I waas going to have to call my mom to drop the kids off there...
Some days I am just so fed up with children not listening, not going to bed, whining, complaining! I finally fell apart yesterday and screamed about not listening - that we were not going to go anywhere or do anything else until they started helping me out. Then bedtime. My kids will not sleep. Will not stay in their rooms at bedtime. Stay up until 11pm. I am so starved for 'grown up time' - 5 minutes to myself, in my home, without children. So last night I screamed again - do not get out of bed! "What if we're bleeding?" ( I was not in the mood to be reasonable) "Get a bandaid!" "What if we have a nightmare? What if we're sick? What if we can't sleep?" AHHHHHHH!!!
It all comes back to you. 1am - 2 crying children. One awakened by the other, who has had a nightmare. Both crawl into my bed. This morning, 4 has a fever. I have to work.
I wonder how much my recent low tolerance for the kids is jus tme trying to control something in life. I can't control the work thing. Are my kids paying?
hmmm
posted by cathie @ 7:25 AM
4 Comments:
I think it ties to that dream about your teeth falling out: your horror that you're becoming toothless, or losing control.
BUT: you do need grownup time, and the kids do need to go to bed and stay there. Are they in the same room? What happens if you tell them they're going to bed at 7:30 and can look at books until 8, but then the lights go out? They can wail like banshees, but they're staying in bed. Period. A little advanced-age Ferberizing.
They WILL adapt--they WILL be fine. And everybody will sleep and feel better.
Do it Friday and Saturday; give them some notice that the change is coming. Sure, maybe you need more time to yourself because of the job--but that doesn't make it an invalid or unfair need: you're the driver in the family, and you need what you need to function well. Making them go to bed isn't a punishment.
Hang in there--I'm thinking about you.
_I_ wanted to be a construction worker when I grew up! Just like Dad, and my uncles. They called me Lovey the Carpenter--goofy, but back then it made me feel special, and a part of the In Crowd.
I hope 6 has a great year ahead. Maisie had a horrid 2nd grade teacher--we're hoping for some relief in 3rd grade, but it's a new teacher so there's no reputation to track down. Trying not to think about it...
Breathe. Deep breaths. Lock yourself in your room or bathroom. You need a break, Mommy. Take it. taking care of YOURSELF is a strength. Then you have the energy to help your kids.
You need a routine at bedtime. My kids are that way when they do not know what to expect. We get pjs on. Read two books. Chat for a couple of minutes about the next day and then it is lights out. No exceptions. Stand your ground. Make it peaceful and calm. Serenity. Bath-books-bedtime. That is my motto:) Renee
I really like how you deal with lying, actually; I still feel like I didn't deal with it at all--I was so shocked I did nothing but yammer. Then, when I'd brought it up with him the third time, as my thinking clarified, I realized that you can't deal with kids this way--drawing the issue out over two days, bringing it up again and again--and I felt like I'd missed the moment.
But NEXT time...
How're you feeling?
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