again

We are looking to buy a cottage. J and I dropped the kids at camp this morning and ventured north to view a potential place. Its the first time in forever we have done something together other than shop (and I guess we were still shopping - sort of). We had 1 1/2 hours in the car to chat without the usual interruption.

The place was nice. Not right for us, but still nice, and we came away with a clearer idea of what we would like. On the way back, we talked about how strange it is to have to come out every time we are in a new situation. We have kids. They are our kids. Nothing unusual to us in that, but in every new situation, there is always a bit of trepidation that we are walking into a situation of judgement. It's like coming out again and again and again. Out of the city, we are aware that there can be little tolerance for non-traditional families. The poeple we met did not seem to have any issue with us at all, but who knows about the next time...

20 years ago, we had rocks thrown at us on the street in front of a bar. On many occasions, we had to leave a club by the back door as there were people out front who were spoiling for a fight. We've come a long way. But sometimes its hard to forget that stuff.

The kids know nothing of these moments of concern. We live our lives in plain view with no shame. But sometimes, like today, we do acknowledge that there is always a tiny bit of fear in the background.